What can wash away my sins?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
I grew up in church and heard the story of how Christ died for me on the cross so many times that I've become numb to it. To be honest, when Easter rolled around every year, I wouldn't give it much thought or even really felt much about it. Sure I'd feel a tug or two in my heart every now and then, but that was it. Nothing more.
It's now that time of the year again, Easter weekend. I spent my Good Friday evening in church with some friends. Before going to church, I wasn't expecting anything. I was merely going to church because it felt like it was the right thing to do. A few hours before, I even had the thought of skipping out on the service because I wasn't feeling well. I'm glad I didn't though.
The minute I stepped into church, the whole atmosphere changed. I was a little confused at first because I wasn't accustomed to the traditions that this church had. They had what was called a Tenebrae service, where we would reflect on the story of Jesus' crucifixion as it was being read out. There were 8 candles lighted up, each symbolising a different point in the story. The candles would be extinguished one at a time as the service progressed through to symbolise the darkness that was approaching as we got closer to Jesus' death.
Going through this activity forced me to really ponder and reflect on what Christ did for me on that cross. I was in tears at the end of it all. So many questions went through my mind. Why me? Who am I to deserve such love? Who am I to deserve such grace and forgiveness after all the rotten things that I've done? No words can express how thankful I am for what He did on the cross for me. I'm proud to say that I follow such a loving and forgiving God. No matter how much I mess up, I know that I can come back to Him who is willing to forgive me and is waiting for me with open arms.
I've been going through some things recently and after reflecting during service, I feel reassured knowing that I have a God who forgives me and still loves me. I am free and I can move on knowing that I am forgiven. It's because of His blood that I am saved and clean once again. I can try to look for things in this world that would satisfy me, that would make me feel better but at the end of the day, these solutions are only temporary. It is only through Him that I am made complete.
It is finished.
Love, Ainsley.
